


paradise bound

by obviousblase



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Homophobic Language, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pre-Canon, Religious Conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 07:40:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21388516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviousblase/pseuds/obviousblase
Summary: a small study of macs life before the gang bought the bar.
Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds, Mac McDonald/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	paradise bound

When Mac was 8, his dad went away for the first time. The kids at his school teased him about it, they said it was because he was going to prison. But Mac knew that was a lie, his dad had just gone to visit a friend and forgot to let him know. And even if his dad was going to prison, the cops obviously had the wrong guy, he knew his dad was innocent! His best friend Charlie never brought it up or teased him about it. He was a good friend like that. Instead, they would hang out and played video games in Charlie’s room and eat whatever snacks Mrs. Kelly had for them.

After his dad was gone, his mom started smoking more and talking less. He still talked to her regardless, even if her responses were grunts or none at all. She started taking on more shifts at work and Mac didn’t see her very often. When his mom was home, she was usually passed out in front of the tv on the couch with a cigarette in her fingers still burning. Mac had a routine for days like these, he would take his mom's cigarette and stub it out, make something for him to eat, usually cereal, and make sure he left enough for his mom to eat too in case she got hungry. 

Every night he would hold onto his rosary as tight as he could, leaving dents from the beads engraved in his small hands. He would pray and pray that his dad would come back, that his mom would talk to him more, that his family would go back to normal. But he never heard a response from God.  


One day he confronted his mom about it, he asked her:  


“Why won’t God answer me? I keep praying but… it’s like he’s not listening to me. Does he really exist?”  


That earned him a painful slap to the face, one that he would never forget. He would never question God again, he thought to himself.  


-  


When Mac was 14, he saw that everyone else around him was dating, all his friends had girlfriends. He was… confused. He hadn’t felt attracted to any girl. Maybe he was a late bloomer, maybe the girls at his school were just ugly. He found any excuse to make himself feel like this was normal. He would hang with Charlie behind the trees during lunchtime, messing with the roots while everyone else hung out with their friends.  


“Charlie? Do you have a girlfriend? Or like… do you want one?” He found himself asking one day, it wasn’t a topic they touched on frequently, but Mac didn’t want to feel left out in all the middle school relationships that were happening around him.  
“Yeah, dude! There’s this girl in my fourth period who sits across from me and she…”  


Mac tuned him out. He picked at his fingers, he was starting to feel a little nervous. He didn’t like feeling out of place. There wasn’t any girl he liked yet. In fact, there wasn’t a girl Mac though was pretty in his school at all.  


He felt Charlie bump his arm with his elbow. “Huh?”  


“I asked you if there was anyone you liked.” His mouth felt dry. His brain was firing on all cylinders trying to think of one pretty girl in any of his classes.  


“Oh, psh yeah. Chrissy, we have science together.” Charlie’s eyed widened, shit, was that not believable?  


“Dude…. Chrissy as in Chrissy Orlando?? She’s like, the hottest chick in the school Mac, I don’t think you’d ever get to date her.”  


Mac was taken aback, did Charlie think he was too ugly to date some chick like Chrissy? “Bro, I bet you she’s gonna be my first kiss just sit back and watch, and who knows maybe one day I’ll marry her, and you’ll regret ever doubting me.” Charlie just sat there, quietly staring at Mac before cracking a smile. Both boys broke out into laughter as the bell indicating lunch was over rang. They waved their goodbyes and headed their separate directions, Mac had gym next, his favorite class.  


Mac was bad at sports, like really bad. He couldn’t throw footballs or shoot basketballs for shit. But he liked watching the athletic kids play, they were really good. He usually leaned up against the wall watching one of his classmates, Jase, make hoops. He was so good at basketball. If Mac was a chick, he would definitely go out with him. He wasn’t ugly, hell, Mac could even go out with him if he liked boys.  


-  


One morning, they had an assembly at school. He and Charlie always skipped them to go hang out by the basketball courts where they could hang out not have to worry about any adults being around. Mac sneaked away from the crowd of students heading towards the auditorium and stood by the door that leads outside for a couple of minutes waiting for Charlie. They had a routine for this, one would always wait for the other. But on this particular day, Charlie was taking his sweet, sweet time getting to the door. The halls were getting less and less crowded and Charlie was nowhere to be seen, Mac figured he was probably skipping school. Feeling hurt that Charlie excluded him from his plans to skip, he went outside by himself but to his surprise, he saw someone else sitting in his and Charlie’s spot. As he got closer, he identified the strong smell of weed coming from that direction.  


It was Jase. Jase was sitting in his spot.  


“Uh hey, dude… what’re you doing here?” He asked, a little confused. No one else ever came to this spot during assemblies, Mac was ready to fight anyone if they were gonna try and break his and Charlie’s tradition.  


“I could ask you the same thing.”  


“Well, I asked first so…”  


He held up the joint he had in his hand and asked, “You smoke, Ronald?”  


He didn’t. Mac had stolen a few puffs of his mom’s cigarette butts a handful of times, but nothing more. “It’s Mac, but yeah dude of course I do”. He hoped his words came out sounding confident.  


Jase threw him a lopsided smile, “Mac, is it? I like it.” He patted down on the grass next to him, indicating Mac to sit next to him. Mac quickly sat down, legs touching. He felt something in his stomach but pushed it away. Probably from not having breakfast that morning, his mom forgot to make anything that morning. Again.  


He took the joint from Jase’s fingers, inhaling deeply. Big mistake. He was coughing like crazy, his throat was burning, and his lungs felt like they were on fire. Jase laughed and handed him a water bottle from his backpack.  


“This is your first time, huh?” he asked looking amused. “I guess you could say I took your smoking virginity then.” He burst out giggling, Mac could feel a warm blush spreading all over his cheeks.  


“Hey that’s fine, usually happens to first-timers. Let’s try this instead, scooch closer.”  


Mac was face to face with Jase, their faces only a few inches away. The feeling in his stomach came back.  


“This is called shotgunning, just open your mouth and let me do the work.” So, he did as he was instructed. He parted his lips slightly, watching Jase pull back a little to take a smooth drag, before getting even closer to before and blew the smoke directly into Mac’s mouth. He swears he felt Jase’s lips touch his for a moment, his eyes closed on instinct but quickly opened them to see the smoke from the exhale slow disappear into the air, turning into nothing.  


They sat there for a couple of minutes more, Jase blowing smoke into Mac’s mouth. He wasn’t sure if he was high, he felt euphoric. But that probably was just the weed.  


On one particular exhale from Jase, Mac got too excited and leaned in more than he intended. 

They kissed.  


Sort of.  


Their lips touched and they both froze up.  


They pulled back fast; Mac swallowed hard. He had just kissed another boy. And God was watching as he sinned. Mac could hear his own voice in the back of his hear screaming at him to get up and leave, but his legs felt too heavy to run. He felt like he was letting down not only God but his parents. But it felt good, it felt right.  


The boys stared at each other for a couple of seconds, Mac wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but as much as he wanted to pretend that didn’t happen, deep down he was hoping they’d kiss again.  


They did. They both leaned in slowly, to him it felt like it was straight out of a romantic movie. It wasn’t rushed or anything, it was just a small kiss on the lips. Jase pulled back and chuckled, “I’ll see you around Mac”. He got up and slung his backpack over his shoulder, leaving Mac agape sitting on the grass, watching as his outline became smaller as he walked away.  


-  


Jase was awesome. They hung out all the time at Mac’s house. Mac would steal Jase’s favorite candies from grocery stores and stock them up in his room, Mac was an amazing host. He didn’t do that all the time though, he was scared of getting in trouble even if it made him feel like a badass. Jase would come over and they would sit on Mac’s bed and watch movies. That was their thing. But one day, Mac’s dad came home early from work and saw them. They weren’t doing anything bad. But they had gotten a little more comfortable around each other and Jase’s legs were laid across Mac’s own. Luther didn’t like that. He kicked them out of the house, the boys running out the door as Luther shouted at them, calling them both ‘faggots’.  


Mac never saw him again.  


-  


When Mac was 15, he turned to God again. He knew that if he followed God and his word that he’d live an eternal, happy life. He started going to church every Sunday and he made sure his mom came with him too. Mac wanted her to be in heaven with her. He wanted his dad to join them, but he was always working. Every early morning and late-night, he prayed. Thanking God for keeping his family together, for giving him two parents that loved him, for giving him a friend like Charlie. He prayed that God would put the right girl in his path, someone he could turn into a wife. He prayed for forgiveness, he wasn’t perfect, he sinned sometimes. Sometimes he did drugs and sometimes he would get drunk with Charlie and throw rocks at stray animals and sometimes he would think about kissing boys. He confessed every sin he had ever committed to God.  


Mac was rudely awakened by flashing lights from outside his bedroom. He groaned into his pillow, his neighbors probably got piss drunk and decided to start fighting in their front yards again. He kicked off the covers and walked to the window where he pulled back the curtain. No, the cops were in front of his house this time, not down the street. His heart sank a little. He ran downstairs and thankfully found his mom awake on the couch, cigarette in hand.  


“Mom, what happened why are the cops here?”  


She grunted and pointed to the door. Mac had gotten really good at understanding his mother’s grunts, but he prayed that he was wrong this time. He was too scared to go to the door; his movements were slow as he prayed and asked God to spare his dad. The door was left ajar and he could see men standing in his yard. He took in a brave breath and opened the door.  


The grass was cold, and it felt wet against Mac’s bare feet. He caught one of the cop’s attention and said “My dad, Luther. Where is he?” He couldn’t read the name on his uniform, but he looked young. He motioned his head towards the cop car, “He’s in there. You should go back inside, kid.”  


Mac felt like the wind had been kicked out of him. His body felt like it was going limp, he felt speechless. He glanced over at the car and sure enough, his dad was sitting in the back. Mac made his way back inside, trying to stop the tears threatening to leave his eyes. Once he got to his room, he slammed the door and screamed. How could God abandon him like that? His tears flowed out of him like a geyser, he threw himself onto his bed and punched his pillow until he could take no more. Why did God take away what he loved the most? Was this some sort of sick way of teaching him a lesson?  


There was no way God was real, not anymore. Nothing good ever happened to him. God only took and took. He tore off the cross necklace he wore around his neck and threw it in the direction of the door.  


\- 

When Mac was 16, he started following in his dad’s footsteps. He started selling weed to kids at his school under the bleachers. He had ratted out his competition, so he was the main source for kids to score weed. He had a regular customer; his name was Dennis Reynolds and he was some rich kid who he was able to scam a couple of dollars extra for a gram. Dennis would sometimes stay under the bleachers with him and Charlie and smoke.  


They became friends pretty quick. The three of them started to hang out more outside of school, and Mac learned that Dennis had a twin sister named Deandra. Sometimes Dennis and Dee will sneak Mac and Charlie into their house so they can steal their parents’ liquor and have drunk sleepovers. They formed their own little gang, they don’t need anyone else.  


\- 

When Mac was 17, he was celebrating Dennis’ 18th birthday. The gang was spending the night at the Reynolds household, neither parent was going to be home for that weekend. Mac brought over his finest weed and some of his favorite VHS tapes that they could watch in Dennis’ room.  


Charlie was the first one out. He somehow got his hands on the cleaning supplies and was passed out next to a bottle of bleach. Dee was next, she could not hold her liquor at all. Mac thought they were lame, but he was thankful he had quiet time with Dennis.  


“Happy birthday, Dennis”  


“You already said that like, ten times dude.” They were sitting on the backyard deck as Dennis smoked his cigarette. Mac snatched it out from the corner of his lips and smoked it as well, he could feel the effects of everything he had taken that day start to wear him down and make him drowsy. He wasn’t ready to sleep, not yet.  


They sat shoulder to shoulder, comfortable in their silence. He wrapped an arm around Dennis’ shoulders, to keep him warm of course, Dennis tends to get cold fast. Dennis rested his head on Mac’s shoulder, getting comfortable.  


He let out a sigh before asking, “What do you think we’re going to be like as adults?”  


Mac thought for a bit. He hadn’t thought about that before, he’s always so busy thinking about things that matter in the moment like making sure bills are paid on time and that dinner is cooked and that the house was clean, so he never gave himself time to think that far in time.  


“Not sure dude, you’re probably going to be some smart vet and forget all about your ‘street trash’ friends” he teased. Dennis gave a small laugh, burying his face in Mac’s shoulder.  


“I hope we’re still friends…” His words were a little slurred and not very audible, but Mac knew he meant them. He took his own arm back and turned to look at Dennis, Dennis sat upright and looked back at him. The moonlight was pale and shining on his face, making him seem almost angelic. Something overcame Mac, he wasn’t sure if it was the drugs or the alcohol, but he kissed Dennis. And Dennis kissed back. He tasted like smoke and expensive alcohol, he was intoxicating. He broke the kiss, foreheads touching. He felt a familiar feeling in his stomach come back again. But this time it was stronger. He kissed him again, more intense this time. It was sloppy, they were both intoxicated, and Mac didn’t have much practice when it came to kissing. Dennis turned his body to face Mac, he had one hand running through his hair and another on his thigh. Mac didn’t know what to do with his hands, he just wrapped them around Dennis and pulled him in closer. Once they separated again, he forced out a nervous laugh.  


“Haha… I’m-I’m so drunk dude.”  


Dennis smiled at him, hand now caressing his thigh.  


“Let’s go to bed, c’mon.” He gave Mac’s thigh a quick pat before getting up and tangling their fingers together.  
That scared Mac, but still he let himself be guided to Dennis’ room, hand in hand. He was careful to not step on Dee who was fast asleep on the floor of his room. Dennis let go of his hand and walked around the bed and laid down, Mac followed suit.  


They fell asleep and woke up together. They don’t mention how they woke up holding each other over breakfast.  


\- 

When Mac was 18, he was getting ready to say goodbye to his best friend Dennis. Dennis and Dee were going away to university. They weren’t gonna be that far away since they were still staying in Philly, but he knew it was going to be difficult to see them often. He rarely had extra cash, so getting there by bus wasn’t much of an option. He also didn’t have a car, so that brought down his chances of visiting even lower.  


“Promise me you’ll try and visit? Or at least write to me?”  


Mac loved writing letters, he wrote to his dad all the time when he would go back to prison. Of course, the guards were assholes and they never delivered his letters.  


Dennis gave him a soft smile, “Yeah buddy, I’ll try and write back to you whenever I can.” Dennis went back to packing whatever other things of his he wanted to take back to his dorm. He was leaving tomorrow, and he had convinced Mac to spend the night.  


Mac laid on Dennis’ bed, not caring that he was on top of neat piles of clothing Dennis had folded. He really was gonna miss him.  


There was a weight on Mac’s chest. He needed to tell Dennis something, but he was terrified. His heart started beating faster and faster the more he thought about it, he felt like it was about to jump out of his chest. He had never felt so nervous in his life and he couldn’t figure out why, nothing was going to happen. It was just Dennis.  


“Den? Can we like… talk for a little bit?” Dennis looked confused, “What’s up?”  


“Can you sit with me first?”  


Dennis stood there for a bit but made his way to the bed as soon as Mac started to sit up. Mac was chewing on the inside of his cheeks like crazy, cracking his knuckles, doing anything to reduce how anxious he felt. Once Dennis was sat next to him, his hands started to shake. He laughed to himself quietly, feeling so pathetic because he couldn’t control his emotions. Dennis noticed and placed a hesitant hand on top of his.  


“Everything okay? Is there so- “  


“Dennis I’m gay.” He interrupted him, blurting out the words so fast. His voice sounded shaky, fuck. The pressure in his chest didn’t go away, he felt like he was going to pass out any moment.  


Dennis stayed quiet.  


Silent.  


Fuck, was he going to hate him? Was he going to feel freaked out by him? Shit shit fuck he shouldn't done this. He could keep it repressed for the rest of his life, he could pretend to like women and he could settle down with some broad and live as a straight man.  


Dennis opened his mouth and sounded like he was about to say something, but promptly closed it. Mac took his hand back, he felt like Dennis’ touch was burning him.  


“Mac.” His voice sounded firm, but he refused to meet his gaze.  


“Mac, I know.”  


He let go of a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “What? How? I never told you anything and I don’t show any outward signs of being gay at all”  


Dennis rolled his eyes, “Come one bro, really? You talk to me all the time about men’s body’s and those times we've gotten drunk? That's not straight man behavior, dude. But I’m glad you’re out, officially. You don’t have to keep lying to yourself now.”  


Mac was embarrassed to be reminded of how he kept trying to kiss him when they were inebriated, but nonetheless, he was beaming, he had the best friend in the whole world.  


“So, you think everyone else knows too?”  


Dennis laughed, “Yeah, they definitely do, man.  


Mac came out to the rest of his friends- they weren’t surprised. He was just happy that he was able to be his real self.  


**Author's Note:**

> ive had this written for i think a year now..... so yea i think it was about time to post this. hope you liked it! kudos and comments are appreciated <3


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